 LIFE | LOVE | LOSS“Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love.” – Bradley Whitford Thank you for making time to read our THMF Newsletter. The intention of all the hands, minds and hearts that touch the Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation is for the words, thoughts and resources shared here to bring you insight, perspective, peace and joy in all that you face. DWELL IN POSSIBILITIES“Never lose hope, my dear heart, miracles dwell in the invisible.” – Rumi While we know change is a constant in this life. The world is not the same place it was a month ago. Things have changed in a rapid and drastic manner in a short amount of time. We are amid a global pandemic with an aggressive and deadly virus. The very foundations of economic stability are being tested and tried. There are quantity limits and supply shortages through out the United States. Schools have closed, sports have ceased, people who can work remotely are now doing so. Many are without work facing financial uncertainties and struggles to provide for basic survival needs. While a lot of these items have happened on an ongoing basis, they have not happened in the sheer volume they are now. If you are in Utah we also had a significant earthquake during all of these other events. The literally shaking of the earth also shook our mental and emotional stability as we faced yet another crisis filled with uncertainty. “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” – Desmond Tutu We have been asked, directed and even ordered to limit all contact with others. Many communities have shelter in place orders only allowing the very minimal activities outside the home. These are changing and trying times. Self-isolation can push the limits of emotional and mental stability. So, what do we ‘DO’ with these new and often unwanted changes? How do we handle the ever-moving landscape with all the unknowns? What is the possibility of emerging on the other side of this more than we were when we entered it? What is the possibility of loving more, over thinking less, feeling deeper? My answer and application will be different from yours. There is no ONE way to DO any of this. Like most challenges in life there are healthy and unhealthy ways to manage. There are coping mechanisms that are better for us than others. My invitation will always come from a place of choice. We always get to choose the field of possibilities in how we will respond and handle every situation we are faced with. As we learn we can adjust how and what we do or don’t do. It’s a beautiful thing to know it is possible to stand in peace in the middle of the storm because that is what we choose. You didn’t choose COVID-19. You didn’t choose an earthquake. You didn’t choose children out of school now at home. You can choose who you will be. Who do you want to be on the other side of this? Do you want to take things you are learning and have them make you more? Do you want to simply survive this pandemic? Do you want to help others, ease another’s pain or need? Only you can answer these questions. I am learning things every day. Some of the things I am grateful for. Others not so much. I have learned I need to update my on-hand food supply to be things I like on a day to day basis not just the ‘survival’ foods that could sustain life. I am learning to plan and use what I have better, to waste less and find new uses for things I might have easily discarded previously. I have learned I like dehydrating things and making fruit leathers! I am learning new ways to embrace stillness. I like guided meditations and am enjoying ones from Zach Rehder & Deepak and Oprah. I am enjoying using commuting time for me to relax, breath deep and set intentions for my day. I LOVE being bare foot, working at home in natural light listening to good music. I LOVE time for reflection without outside events crowding the calendar. I am grateful for love and to have someone to be in quarantine with who I enjoy. These things are gifts to me. I encourage you to find the things that help you feel peace. Create time and activities that bring you balance. We don’t know what will be. The only real power and opportunities we have are to live present in this moment. Create new mindfulness practices. Remember anything from yesterday is a memory. Anything projected into tomorrow lives in the realm of imagination as it is yet to be. Think about and read things that leave you uplifted. Watch things that make you laugh. Limit your exposure to the hard things outside you own walls. They will still be there. Stay informed without becoming overwhelmed. If you find yourself feeling upset at something you are watching, turn it off. Process the emotions as they arise and then work to move to a less frustrated mental and emotional state. You are the only one who can take care of your mind and heart. No matter what comes we are all capable of managing and getting through it. We can do hard things together. Be good to you! HOPE“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” – Maya Angelou Hope as defined in the Webster Dictionary is; “to cherish a desire with anticipation: to want something to happen or be true”. We have all heard saying like Hope Springs Eternal or they Hoped against Hope. It seems hope it a common thread inside our human existence. We hear people say they hope things will happen or even hope they won’t. How many times have you hoped for the best and planned for the worst? It seems like we are in a place where we are likely hoping for a lot right now. I hope we don’t get sick. I hope people stop dying from Coronavirus. I hope those out of work get back to work soon. I hope all those on the front lines stay well physically, mentally and emotionally. I hope couples and families grow stronger inside this quarantine time. I hope kids and parents survive home schooling. I hope people don’t get divorced. I hope small business will all recover and come back stronger. I hope there will be Clorox wipes in the store again soon. I could go on and on. The definition of hope in several online dictionaries lists it as a noun and verb. I find that interesting. What is it for you? Are the things you are hoping for making you more of the person you are committed to being? Are the things you hope don’t happen keeping you stuck in a place of fear and anxiety? This is a great time for some extra reflection on how you will use hope in your life. I know as a mother I always hoped my children would grow to adulthood and have happy fulfilling lives. I never thought I would lose a child. I never thought I would hope to understand suicide in a deep and powerful way. More than hope I longed for peace of mind and heart after my sweet pup Joey took his life. That tragedy shaped me. I am still learning and growing inside of who I am now without him. I am always looking for new and meaningful ways to honor that love I still hold for him in my heart. These new global tragedies present us with opportunities to use hope as a springboard to create new and lasting changes for good. I am currently participating the Deepak & Oprah Free 21-Day Meditation experience on Hope. Each day there is a centering thought. I am sharing some of them below. Hope makes me strong and secure. The power of hope is here every day. I have every hope in the world. In hope, I am fearless. I trust in my core self at every moment. I find a reason to hope in every situation. “Hope… is the companion of power, and the mother of success; for who so hopes has within him the gift of miracles.” – Samuel Smiles Perhaps we could follow the directive from Brene Brown to be our best bravest selves during this trying and uncertain time “Hearts open. Hands Washed. Love on.” I wish you everything good. All my best, Genna EVENTS COVID-19 hotline at 844-442-5224 https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html https://www.usa.gov/coronavirus https://health.utah.gov/ Contact your insurance carrier or local health department for more resources available to you as a member or in your area. Bereaved Mother’s Retreat’sBereaved Mother’s Retreat’s sponsored by Cristie North of Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation and Leigh Anne Garcia of Andrew Garcia Memorial Foundation. 2020 Dates May 1-3 – New dates and Zoom events to come! Fall 2020 TBD Visit www.thmemorialfoundation.org or email [email protected] UTAH VISION DAYRAISING AWARENESS FOR MENTAL HEALTH & SUICIDE PREVENTION This is the main fundraiser for the Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation to fund programs and retreats all year. Saturday August 1st 2020 Ride Starts at the Sandy Harley Davidson Location. 4th Annual Andrew Garcia Memorial MatchFriday, June 26 6-9 pm at Skyline High School. UTAH COUNTY RESIDENTSAnyone in the Utah County area that would be interested in partnering/facilitate with Dawn Christensen. It is with Compassionate Friends. They meet last Thursday of the month at 7PM. She is looking for help. Santaquin TCF of Utah County 364 N state Road 198 Santaquin, UT Dawn – 801-471-7011 [email protected] LOTUSYou are invited to join LOTUS for our Psychic Fair first Saturday of every Month Multiple Reader/Healers at Lotus doing mini sessions at $15 LOTUS 12896 S Pony Express Rd Ste 200 Draper, UT 84020 SUPPORTCaring Connections SLC, Midvale & Orem www.nursing.utah.edu/caring-connections 801-585-9522 What’s Your Grief? A website about grief & loss & ways to cope. www.whatsyourgrief.com The Sharing Place Support for families and children 3 ½ and up. www.thesharingplace.org 801-466-6730 Canary Garden Helping children in their grief process. www.canarygarden.org 801-960-2684 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention www.afsp.org 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Crisis Text Line Text TALK to 741741 SafeUT Crisis & Chat App The SafeUT Crisis Chat and Tip Line is a statewide service that provides real-time crisis intervention to youth through live chat and a confidential tip program – right from your smartphone. Licensed clinicians in our 24/7 CrisisLine call center respond to all incoming chats and calls by providing: supportive or crisis counseling, suicide prevention, and referral 
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 LIFE | LOVE | LOSS“You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.” Irish Proverb Thank you for making time to read our THMF Newsletter. The intention of all the hands, minds and hearts that touch the Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation is for the words, thoughts and resources shared here to bring you insight, perspective, peace and joy in all that you face. CONNECTIONFor years I have been drawn to Ireland. I have enjoyed pictures of the lush countryside with every shade of green. I have read many romance novels of Irish passion and loyalty. I have watched shows detailing Irish history rich in love and loss. I took one of those home DNA tests which indicated I had 23% Irish/Scottish ancestry. Hmm, maybe there is something to the draw I feel to this native land and its people. One thread in many things I have read and watched is their connection to each other and to the land itself. With all the technology we now have available in our hands as humans we are more connected than we have ever been. We can see and hear what is happening around the globe by watching the news, we can access social media and witness events in the lives of people we may not otherwise see for years. We have connection in spades! However, are we really connecting? My grandma used to always say that the worst form of punishment in prison is solitary confinement. She would say we NEED human connection. I couldn’t agree more. So, I encourage you to put down the phone while you eat a meal. Think about the food, where it came from, whose hands touched it. Talk to the people with you at the table. If your eating alone look at those around you. Make up stories about who they are and what there are up too! I invite you all to create windows of time where you take a digital detox turning off all screens and connecting. It could a deeper connection with yourself. Doing simple breath work in silence can be very balancing. Connect with those you share space with. Ask what their favorite things are. If you are in a relationship, ask the person how you can love them more. You might be surprised by the answer and the simple ways you are able to deepen your connection. Have a candle night! My son Joey and I use to do this. We would turn off all the lights and just have candles on. We often talked and listened to music! It’s a fun simple way to change up the day to day and connect on a different level. I know that when we shift our awareness by paying attention to our surroundings, we can allow deeper and stronger connections to emerge allowing a new alignment to peace in our minds and hearts. CHUTES AND LADDERSHave you played this simple board game? When was the last time you spun the wheel to see if you would climb the ladder or hit a chute? I think so much of life is like this game. We climb metaphorical ladders in our lives. We gain knowledge and insight with new experiences and relationships. We get careers and make more money than we use too. I know as I have gotten older there is a sense of progression that I am moving forward and leaving certain life circumstance behind. Then there is a slide! Then life throughs us a curve ball and we feel like we are sliding down a chute not knowing where we might land. This can happen with a sudden loss of a job, relationship issues, health struggles or the loss of a friendship. It can come in many forms. In the game sometimes you climb and climb getting one of the tallest ladders. You feel as though you are mastering something! Then a chute comes. It might be a small chute where you feel like you didn’t lose that much ground. It might be a long one where it seems like you are starting over. So how do we do this? What do we do when life pushes us down a chute when all we wanted to do was climb? How many times have you said or heard someone say, “I don’t want this?” Well, there is not one set answer to that question. I know when my son Joey took his life, I felt like I was going down the longest chute of my life. It was a chute full of pain, confusion, unanswerable questions. I cried, I laughed, I yelled, I sat in silence wondering what now. No matter what life throws at us we can always take a minute to catch our breath. Re-group and reevaluate where we are. I think when we take some time to do this, we are then better able to clearly chose where it is we want to go. Do we start a new climb? Do we stay sideways for a time? Perhaps we decide to change the game all together! No matter where you are in your life, in your journey of love or loss I invite you to take a deep breath. Create some quiet time for your mind and heart to be still. In this stillness I invite you to listen for the whispers of what your soul longs for! If you do all this and are still at a loss of what steps to take or where to go next, then just do something. I have told my children sometimes you just have to move, just have to pick something and do it as only in the activity of living will you then know if its something you want to keep doing or if its time for a change. I wish you everything good. All my best, Genna EVENTSBereaved Mother’s Retreat’s Bereaved Mother’s Retreat’s sponsored by Cristie North of Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation and Leigh Anne Garcia of Andrew Garcia Memorial Foundation. 2020 Dates February 28-March 1, 2020 May 1-3, 2020 Fall 2020 TBD Visit www.thmemorialfoundation.org or email [email protected] UTAH VISION DAYRAISING AWARENESS FOR MENTAL HEALTH & SUICIDE PREVENTION This is the main fundraiser for the Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation to fund programs and retreats all year. Saturday August 1st 2020 Ride Starts at the Sandy Harley Davidson Location. 4th Annual Andrew Garcia Memorial Match Friday, June 26 6-9 pm at Skyline High School. UTAH COUNTY RESIDENTSAnyone in the Utah County area that would be interested in partnering/facilitate with Dawn Christensen. It is with Compassionate Friends. They meet last Thursday of the month at 7PM. She is looking for help. Santaquin TCF of Utah County 364 N state Road 198 Santaquin, UT Dawn – 801-471-7011 [email protected] LOTUSYou are invited to join LOTUS for our Psychic Fair first Saturday of every Month Multiple Reader/Healers at Lotus doing mini sessions at $15 LOTUS 12896 S Pony Express Rd Ste 200 Draper, UT 84020 SUPPORTCaring Connections SLC, Midvale & Orem www.nursing.utah.edu/caring-connections 801-585-9522 What’s Your Grief? A website about grief & loss & ways to cope. www.whatsyourgrief.com The Sharing Place Support for families and children 3 ½ and up. www.thesharingplace.org 801-466-6730 Canary Garden Helping children in their grief process. www.canarygarden.org 801-960-2684 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention www.afsp.org 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Crisis Text Line Text TALK to 741741 SafeUT Crisis & Chat App The SafeUT Crisis Chat and Tip Line is a statewide service that provides real-time crisis intervention to youth through live chat and a confidential tip program – right from your smartphone. Licensed clinicians in our 24/7 CrisisLine call center respond to all incoming chats and calls by providing: supportive or crisis counseling, suicide prevention, and referral services.  LIFE | LOVE | LOSS“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” —J.P. Morgan Thank you for making time to read our THMF Newsletter. The intention of all the hands, minds and hearts that touch the Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation is for the words, thoughts and resources shared here to bring you insight, perspective, peace and joy in all that you face. LETTING GO OF THE OLD MAKING ROOM FOR THE NEW At the start of a new year have you ever noticed how many ads there are for Tupperware or storage bins? Why is this? What are we being encouraged to do? It’s all a not so subtle reminder to clean out the stuff that is no longer needed or wanted. How often do we really do this in our lives? I know at our house I am forced to clean out the vegetable drawer with soggy or slimy things past their prime on a regular basis. We clean our bodies daily using soap and shampoo to wash away the day. We clean our cars to remove the grime of life from the inside and out. How often do we do this with our minds and hearts? When was the last time you let go of a limiting belief or harmful emotion? I invite and encourage you to find an area of your life where frustration exists. Ask yourself what the source of the frustration is. How can it be resolved? Can you look at the issue or circumstance from a different perspective? Take a fifty thousand feet view or maybe one from the ground looking up? Is an open honest conversation in order? Is there room for you to change a belief or view of the issue or person involved? What about those ‘hard’ emotions we don’t love to feel? Anger | Sadness | Jealousy | Embarrassment | Betrayal | Doubt | Frustration Is there a person or place in your life where one or many of these emotions exist? If so, I invite you to make time to lessen one of these. What I mean is to take the highest feelings of discomfort and move down a notch. You don’t need to go from completely frustrated to tranquil peace in a moment. My invitation is to go from complete frustration down a level or two where there is now slight irritation. Along with all those Tupperware and storage bin ads you know that historically fitness centers are the fullest at the first of the year too. As humans I believe we have good intentions to want to be and live our best lives. We often start strong not always continuing this course for a full twelve months. So, take it slow. One bite at a time. One circumstance, one person at a time to move to a slightly different place. Allow this new place to be one that makes you feel more centered, more balanced, closer to the you that you like best! I love the teachings of Louise L Hay. She has recommended cleaning out one drawer, one part of the freezer or fridge while saying, “I am cleaning out the old making room for the new.” I invite you to apply this concept to letting go of things that limit your health, your happiness, your ability to genuinely connect with those around you. Find one thing, one feeling, one circumstance where a good cleaning out would provide improved feelings. After you accomplish this if it feels good find another place to apply these same principle’s too. “You will always be slightly dissatisfied with where you are. The best place to be is ‘I’m mostly satisfied and reaching for more.’ —Abraham Hicks” I encourage you to let go of the stuff in your mind and heart that no longer serves your highest and best good. Let’s all work towards mostly satisfied and reaching for more! MOVING ON AFTER LOSS Any of you who have lost someone in your life have probably had someone say something to you about moving on, ‘getting over it’, time healing all things and so on. I am a huge country music fan. Lady Antebellum has a beautiful song called, “What If I Never Get Over You”. If you haven’t heard it, I recommend looking it up. A few of the lyrics are below. “It's supposed to hurt, it's a broken heart But to movin' on is the hardest part It comes in waves, the letting go But the memory fades, everybody knows Everybody knows What if I'm tryin', but then I close my eyes And then I'm right back, lost in that last goodbye? And what if time doesn't do what it's supposed to do? What if I never get over you? What if I never get over? What if I never get closure? What if I never get back all the wasted words I told ya? What if it never gets better? What if this lasts forever and ever and ever?” In the last five years I have lost three aunts, two great aunts, my grandma, my son and bonus dad of almost thirty years. I have had a little more practice with loss than I wanted too. The words of the song above have echoed in my mind and heart especially losing my son to suicide. “What if I never get over, what if I never get closure, what if time doesn’t DO what it’s supposed to do”. Well, here is what I think. Time is passive, it does not inherently ‘DO’ anything. A quote shared at the Bereaved Mother’s Retreat I attended talked about the effort we put into healing, learning, processing and being with our grief & pain are what make a difference, not time itself. There are moments in time, events in our lives that are forever ear marked by their significance or power over us. Losing someone close to us is often one of those times. No matter if the loss was foreseen, slow due to illness or a long full life. It doesn’t matter if it was sudden and unexpected. The deep loss impacts us often overwhelming our senses and our ability to move through our day to day life with the ease we once used too. I don’t think we need to move on from these events or moments in time. I don’t think we EVER need to get over losing someone who meant so very much to us. I don’t think we need to let go of any of the life, memories or love we shared. While a significant loss changes us, we can and always will have a place in our minds and hearts for the person who is now gone. We can look for and create new and meaningful ways to keep them present in our lives, traditions and futures. We can ALWAYS move forward. This is what I think is so important. I won’t ever be the same as I was before losing my sweet Joey. Loving him and being his mom changed me so certainly losing him, kissing him good bye in a casket has forever changed me as well. I make it a priority to be changed in a way that honors his life and the love I have for him still. I get swallowed by the grips of grief, the anguish of what could have been, the pain of never being able to see him here on earth. I have cried more tears then I thought the human body could produce. I have felt the depths of despair not understanding this loss. THEN, I move forward. I find something that makes me feel a little MORE peace, a little more balance. Sometimes it’s a hot bath, a warm cup of tea, a good book, a laugh with a friend, planting flowers, comforting another, taking a walk, sleeping late, eating chocolate, making love, smiling at a stranger, listening to children laugh or loving a kitten. Each day I get up and do the things I can do. Depending where you are in your grief journey getting up itself might be the best you have to give the day. Keeping doing that. Then keep doing it again and again until that becomes less hard. Then you will find ways to move forward inside your loss with your love. It’s the moving forward that makes our lives rich with the tapestry of our loss. I suggest you find a new way to move forward in your life to honor yourself and the love of the person you lost. HELPFUL WINTER TIPS Helpful things that you can do include: * Slow down and get more rest, practice being still even if its just a few minutes a day * Drink more water * Take extra Vitamin C daily not just when you feel a cold coming on * Rub your ears at least once a day In Chinese Medicine, the Kidney is the primary energy supplier to the body. If you are feeling run down, are having ear issues (ears are related to the Kidney), are craving salty foods, or are struggling with anxiety (fear is the emotion associated with the Kidney), these are signs that your Kidney system needs additional support. * Massage the bottoms of your feet regularly (the spot right in the center of the sole of your foot) * Eat more warm, cooked foods and not as many cold foods (like oatmeal instead of a smoothie for breakfast) * Practice self-care to de-stress and energize your body. * Breath deeply three times and let tension leave your mind and body I wish you everything good. All my best, Genna SUPPORT Caring Connections SLC, Midvale & Orem www.nursing.utah.edu/caring-connections 801-585-9522 What’s Your Grief? A website about grief & loss & ways to cope. www.whatsyourgrief.com The Sharing Place Support for families and children 3 ½ and up. www.thesharingplace.org 801-466-6730 Canary Garden Helping children in their grief process. www.canarygarden.org 801-960-2684 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention www.afsp.org American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide. www.afsp.org 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Crisis Text Line Text TALK to 741741 SafeUT Crisis & Chat App The SafeUT Crisis Chat and Tip Line is a statewide service that provides real-time crisis intervention to youth through live chat and a confidential tip program – right from your smartphone. Licensed clinicians in our 24/7 CrisisLine call center respond to all incoming chats and calls by providing: supportive or crisis counseling, suicide prevention, and referral services.  **If you wish to no longer receive this newsletter please reply STOP **
 LIFE | LOVE | LOSS“What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.” — George Eliot Thank you for making time to read our THMF Newsletter. The intention of all the hands, minds and hearts that touch the Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation is for the words, thoughts and resources shared here to bring you insight, perspective, peace and joy in all that you face. TIME TO REFLECT At the close of a year we often pause to reflect on where we are physically, professionally, mentally, emotionally, financially and or spiritually. We look back to see where we have been and then dare to glance forward to where we are headed or where we want to be. This reflection can bring up varying emotions depending on how well we ‘score’ ourselves on what we wanted or what we think we could have done or accomplished versus what really took place or even what didn’t get done. Here is what I have been more and more aware of lately, it is what it is and we are where we are. I know this sounds almost too simplistic or Zen! However, for me I no longer wish to get out the measuring stick to grade myself. I am giving less and less power to the highs or the lows. I find myself transitioning into a place where there is more and more acceptance of the journey itself. I am able to allow myself the space inside the journey to not know how to do it ‘right’. This is a HUGE step for me. I like to be the good student, the teacher’s pet, get all the answers right. I have not had much room in my mind or heart for things not done ‘well’ in my life. As time continues to pass and I keep seeking peace, light and love I find my attention has shifted to a place with more understanding, more acceptance of myself and others no matter where we are on our life’s path. I invite you all to pause, reflect and accept where you are right now. Acknowledge the things you loved in the past year, recognize efforts made in any area of your life. Appreciate who you were in every place you showed up. If during this reflection you see places or people who you want to have different interactions with going forward, then create something new. Lovingly commit to forgiving yourself and others for anything you/they did or didn’t do. Take all you learned in the days and years that have gone by and use them for good moving forward. Speak kind words to yourself, encourage and accept all of you as you look back. You can choose to do or be anything you want in 2020. THE GIFT OF BEING PRESENT & CHOICE For those grieving the end of a year can bring painful reminders of what was lost. My son Joey took his life in September of 2017. We had his sixteenth birthday a month later and then the holidays were upon us. When we got to December and closer to January so many people were saying how they were excited for the year to be over and a new one to start. I just felt shattered inside. The year I was leaving was the ONLY year left where he would have been here. It was the only time left on earth where he could be seen, heard, felt. It was the last time he would be with us on an adventure or vacation. I felt so destroyed leaving a place in time that I could never re-capture. Grief journeys are not linear. It is more a game of Chutes and Ladders where you climb then fall. It could be your first holiday without someone in your life due to death, divorce, moving to a new location or any other reason, it could be your twentieth. You might still feel raw powerful emotions of pain and loss. Perhaps your feelings have lessened through time and healing. The feelings of pain and loneliness are real and can feel overwhelming. No matter where you are mentally or emotionally, I invite you to breathe, relax your mind and choose carefully what honors you and where you are right now. I recently participated in a Harmony Series event with Zach Rehder called ‘Tension’. He talked about relieving tension in our lives by doing two things that we can ONLY do right now in this present moment. They are to RELAX (you can’t relax yesterday) & BREATHE (You can’t breathe tomorrow). I encourage you all to practice these two simple things to help keep your awareness in the here and now! It is easy to let our minds wander to what was and then forward to project or worry about what might be. When we can take a deep breath in our nose and exhale slowly through our mouth at least three times in a row while releasing tension held in our mind and body, we will feel a little more centered and present in the here and now. I invite you to do this simple exercise as often as needed to bring yourself these feelings of peace. Now let’s talk about choice. We don’t often get a say in loss, in pain, in betrayal. We do however ALWAYS have choice in what we do and how we process these events. I want to share some holiday thoughts on the gift of choice from Jennifer Stern who has a Facebook Group called Transformative Grief. She shares these thoughts below inside the Heart to Heart Newsletter from the Donor Connect Services. “Choose to honor what feels right for you. There are no rules.” She talks about the first holidays after her mom passed and how participating in the same traditions brought her comfort and joy. She also acknowledges that sometimes the thought of doing the things they used to do can feel too painful and overwhelming, so don’t. No one says you must eat turkey or ham, you can have cereal or breakfast for dinner! Do what works for you and yours. Jennifer goes on to say, “If leaving your home feels like too much perhaps you will choose to engage in an act of kindness by making a donation in your loved one’s name. Donate to the Humane Society if your loved one was an animal lover, to the Foodbank if your loved one was a foodie, to the library if your loved one was an avid reader, and so on.” “Choose to give yourself the gift of extreme selfcare this holiday season. Holidays can be intensely emotional. If you feel the need to cry, cry. If you feel the need to scream, scream. Feel your feelings and nurture yourself in the most loving and compassionate of ways. Surround yourself in comfort by engaging your five senses in selfcare. Rest if you feel like resting. Dance if you feel like dancing. Go for a walk. Take a long hot bath or shower. Breathe. Breathe in strength and healing, breathe out pain and suffering. Know that all feelings are okay. Grieving is hard work. Grieving during the holidays can be especially difficult. There is not one way or a right way to grieve.” Choose what brings you the moments of rest. Choose the people to spend time with who make you feel ‘more’ after you are together. Choose to eat the things you enjoy. Choose to love and accept yourself exactly where you are, exactly what you look like, exactly who and what you have in your life. I truly believe there is immense freedom to be found in choice! I wish you everything good through this holiday season. All my best, Genna SUPPORT Caring Connections SLC, Midvale & Orem www.nursing.utah.edu/caring-connections 801-585-9522 What’s Your Grief? A website about grief & loss & ways to cope. www.whatsyourgrief.com The Sharing Place Support for families and children 3 ½ and up. www.thesharingplace.org 801-466-6730 Canary Garden Helping children in their grief process. www.canarygarden.org 801-960-2684 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention www.afsp.org 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Crisis Text Line Text TALK to 741741 SafeUT Crisis & Chat App The SafeUT Crisis Chat and Tip Line is a statewide service that provides real-time crisis intervention to youth through live chat and a confidential tip program – right from your smartphone. Licensed clinicians in our 24/7 CrisisLine call center respond to all incoming chats and calls by providing: supportive or crisis counseling, suicide prevention, and referral services.    LIFE | LOVE | LOSSThank you for making time to read our first THMF Newsletter! The intention of all the hands, minds and hearts that touch the Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation is for the words, thoughts and resources shared here to bring you insight, perspective, peace and joy in all that you face. As we begin this journey together, I will take a moment to tell you about me. My name is Genna. I am a happily married mother of three children, two living one not. I am a lifelong student and avid reader. I love to garden. I love deep open honest conversations. I respect people being true to themselves even if it disappoints others. I appreciate kindness and think laughter can smooth so many of life’s bumps. I think life is better with two-ply, real butter, good paper towels and thick sliced applewood smoked bacon cooked crisp! The poem below captures ideals I work to include in my existence. Be Present. Make Love. Make tea. Avoid small talk. |
Blogs Managed ByErika North-Rickard Archives
April 2020
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
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**All proceeds will go to various causes including mental illness, youth groups, and various suicide prevention efforts & organizations. Taylor Hagen Memorial Foundation is an approved and certified 501 (c) (3) non-profit.